I’ve had these lightbulb moments throughout the course of my life. Moments when a process is named, and I can no longer ignore it. A turning point where I’m faced with difficult realities and decisions. I can imagine this is why most people prefer not to seek trauma therapy. “It’s making it worse,” some would say. “How is this even helping?” others wonder. Trauma therapy can feel like one step forward and five steps back. It washes over you like a rumbling of waves in the middle of an overwhelming storm. You’re caught in the middle of the ocean, treading water, trying everything just to keep afloat — catch your breath — only for it to take you under again.

“Is this worth it?” I’ve wondered.

In Hebrews 12:1-3, we are reminded that Jesus, just like us, had faced his own fair share of trauma; The Cross. And yet, He knew what was on the other side, and THAT is what held him in the pain, the heaviness, and what God set out for him. He kept his eyes on what was on the other side of it all, and he endured with true faith.

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross…

“Was it worth it?” I ask him.

“You are worth it. He replies.

Joy. He knew he had to endure something incredibly hard because something good was ahead. And here’s the best part, it had nothing to do with the outcome of his circumstances and life. He was focused on how his life could impact ours. Yours and mine. He endured it for us.

Do you want to hear something honest?

I have been in therapy for the last year and a half, and it wasn’t until a week ago that I realized PTSD wasn’t just for a veteran who suffered great pain, but it is a part of me, a mother of three, just a normal 37-year-old woman, trying to navigate the everyday mundane. I laughed when this diagnosis clicked for me. How could I not have possibly known or connected the dots? Here I was in trauma therapy but certainly I wasn’t the one suffering. Right? And here was our therapist, walking through a list of PTSD symptoms, assigning them like tasks in a Word Document, assigning them to me. Lightbulb moment.

I didn’t realize it then, but God was asking me to illuminate the dark parts of my story so another woman could see she’s not alone. I heard His voice speak to me three years ago while attending a silent retreat. I had quieted the world around me just long enough to discern what He was saying. I knew He was calling me to help women through their pain. Only then, I wasn’t sure what pain He was talking about. I just knew He had a calling over me, so I wrote it down and kept it tucked away. Only now, I know. It’s so clear, I cannot deny it.

These lightbulb moments aren’t given to me just to show me what my life will become, but for yours, too. So you can wake up and know that God has freedom in store for you. Joy. There is a joy set before you, and as we run this race together, with endurance, we will get to the other side of this. And for those who wonder if going back and revisiting the places that hurt us most—our own cross, if you will—is actually helping, I can assure you: carrying our cross to Him is the most healing, worthwhile act of faith we can do to get there.

Some of us can point to the moment. Others just know — something felt off, and we never went back for it. We didn’t know how to, and we certainly didn’t feel safe to.
So we learned to live around it instead. But what if the places we avoided are the very places waiting to be met with healing?

What if these lightbulb moments are God’s gentle nudge to keep us from drifting, daydreaming or numbing.

He pulls us back in and says, “I haven’t forgotten about you. I’m still here.”

After my therapist asked that important question, I was taught to name the process of what had happened to me. I could name it—and suddenly, it felt more real. I was no longer living in the question of “was this,” but in the reality that “it is.”Naming it made it tangible, something I could almost hold in my hands… and that weight was too much to carry.

A wave of emotions came over me, and I felt like I couldn’t escape it.

And then, I heard Jesus whisper, “I can feel this with you, and I’m willing to sit here beside you for as long as you need. When you’re ready, we can step out of this together… because it’s not safe to stay here.”

If God is bringing something into the light for you right now, He is not doing it to overwhelm you. He is doing it to walk with you through it. So let’s take this one step at a time, together.

Come Back to Yourself

Proverbs 4:23 - Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Everything that flows from your heart is connected to your body, your spirit, and your mind. They were never meant to work against each other. So, when you’re uncovering parts of your story that feel too heavy to hold, simply come back to yourself by doing the following:

• Quiet the Noise

  

  • In order to hear His voice, we need to quiet the voice of the world. For some, this may look like stepping away from social media for a short period of time. You may need to set boundaries with a loved one or friend to create some space for healing and clarity. You may need to close the self-help books and turn off the podcasts. And for others, it could be silencing text messages for a moment. The goal is to silence all the voices just long enough to be still with His. Read the Bible during this time and journal what comes up for you.

• Open Your Bible

  

  • I have found that the Bible comes to life for me in these difficult moments. His words breathe life into me, and each passage becomes so clear for my situation. Tip: Assign a highlighter color to a specific theme — green for sin, blue for God/Jesus, tan for worship, purple for instruction, and ask AI to help you breakdown each verse line-by-line so that you can highlight it. This has changed the way I read, retain, and connect to my Bible!

• Sit in the In-between

  

  • Easier said than done, I know. But it’s in the in-between where God invites us into His steadiness and grounds us when everything feels chaotic. It’s in the in-between our perspectives can shift and genuine change and true transformation happens. Be still and know.

• Seek Counsel

  

  • Be wise about who you turn to in these moments but it’s important that you do not walk through this alone. A trusted counselor, your pastor, a friend and/or mentor. Ask who you could share this with that won’t become defensive for you but steer you back to His word for your life.

• Movement, Meditation, and Overall Wellness

  

  • This is key: your body needs to be supported so it can nourish your mind and spirit well. For me, movement, steady weight training, stretching, along with red light therapy, sauna sessions, and massage have helped restore my energy in moments when my mind was ready to quit. The body needs to be strong when the mind cannot, and the mind, in turn, strengthens the body.

Maybe this is where it begins for you, too. Not with having it all figured out, but with simply noticing, naming it, and bringing it into the light.

You don’t have to carry it all today. You don’t have to understand every part of your story at once. Just take the next step in front of you.

He is with you in it. And when you’re ready, He will gently lead you out of it.

There is joy set before you, too.

“I miss our Wednesday night dinners,” I told my therapist. Thinking back on all the memories we shared, those nights were the moments I looked forward to most. They were our own little counseling sessions, shared over a favorite hot meal, made complete with chocolate wafer cookies, hot chocolate, and your favorite show.

Shannon and I would spill the latest school gossip (sorry, friends—your secrets were shared with Mimi), talk about home life, and reveal our deepest thoughts. You laughed with us, cried with us, and, most importantly, made us feel safe in your presence.

“Why don’t you write to her?” my therapist suggested, as I admitted the hardest part of missing you is not being able to talk to you.

So here we are: words on paper, thoughts on a screen, our own Wednesday night dinner. I know I’m not the only one longing for a Mimi, a safe place to share our joys, our sorrows, and our secrets, and to feel, even for a moment, that we are not walking this journey alone.

Do Nothing at All

Your advice helped me pick myself up after one of the hardest years of my life. They became stepping stones on my path to healing: my marriage, grief, and my faith. One step in front of the other, I’d tell myself. “When you don’t know what to do, the best option is to do nothing at all.” I can hear your voice as if you told me this yesterday; a gentle reminder you always offered when I faced a hard decision or longed for change in my life.

Who would have known that the same year I would lose you would also become the year your words would guide me to begin again?

They became my saving grace. In the hardest moments, I knew I didn’t have to do more than move from point A to point B, even if that meant simply feeding my body, playing with my children, or showing up for myself through therapy, the gym, or a retreat.

Ultimately, your words gave me the freedom to place my situation at the feet of Jesus and let Him carry it from there. I didn’t have to choose. I didn’t have to heal myself. I didn’t have to control every outcome—because He already had, He already would, and He already knew.

Beginning Again

The best part of your advice was the gift of time; the space to truly see what I desire in this life and to make decisions from that place, from my legacy, rather than from the fear that gripped me when everything was so raw. That time allowed me to pray, to ask God what He wanted for my life, the legacy He envisioned for me, and the steps I needed to take to get there. It also gave me a quiet stillness, a space to really hear Him—and now, His voice is clearer and louder than ever.

Had I acted quickly in those moments, I would have focused only on the immediate details in front of me, rather than seeing the bigger picture, the greater plan, His plan, for my life.

“Our choices have the power to change generations,” a friend reminded me during those raw moments. And as someone who lived a life of legacy, I know you cared deeply about the generations to come. You poured into us what you never received, and it has become my life’s mission to do the same, to live like you: the helper, the friend, the one who could see the best in everyone—the constant.

I’m ready to begin again. This time, unafraid, empowered, and anchored in His promises, knowing He is using this—using me—for the greater good.

My Latest Deepest Thought — A Dream

Mimi, I have a dream. It has been on my heart for years, even before my great awakening in 2024. I haven’t known what to do with this dream, so like you advised, I haven’t done much. Today, I asked God to make His path unmistakably clear, because there are a few directions I feel so passionately called toward!

1. Creating a Safe Space for Women to Heal and Discover God’s Goodness — Even in This

2. Supporting Our Youth — Guiding Them Before Life’s Hardships Take Their Toll (Micro-School)

And of course, He wasted no time in answering. (Those are the moments you just know.) My mentor came to see me as I began my personal day retreat, and I shared my thoughts with her. She answered clearly: “You cannot reach the children without reaching their parents. They go to youth groups only to return to their broken homes.” That’s it—right there. God wants me to help women in the same way other women have helped me. To remind them it’s never too late for them — He is good, even in this.

I have witnessed a revival in my own home, one I cannot fully describe with words. You would have to see it to understand it. And I long for that for so many women who believe it’s too late for their story. It’s not. I believed the lie that, because I endured 37 years of hardship, I was doomed to a lifetime of trials. Nothing could be further from the truth. You knew that, and deep down, I did too.

Jesus’ ministry didn’t begin until He was in His 30s. Of all the people in the Bible, He knew what it felt like to be betrayed, falsely accused, rejected, abused, and humiliated. While reading my Freedom book for a Bible Study, I highlighted all of the trials I have faced in my short lifetime, and they matched directly with his. I too have been betrayed, falsely accused, rejected, abused, and humiliated. And I am not alone in that, and neither is the woman reading this letter.

A Mimi to All

God is faithful. When you left, I was invited to a community of women—a yearly retreat—to grow closer to Him. Through that invitation, I gained a mentor, another Mimi, if you will, who has loved me through some of my hardest moments over the past two years. I recently told her that her home reminds me of yours: a safe place where I can walk barefoot, curl up, and simply feel at home. Mimi’s home.

I want to do the same. I want to create a Mimi’s home, a safe place where women from all walks of life can come, a Wednesday night dinner, if you will, that gives them permission to simply be in the moments they don’t know what to do. A place where God can begin to move, heal, and restore what was once broken, ultimately shaping a future generation forever changed.

The Word Revealed - Ties it all Together

(Excerpt from my Freedom Book read an hour before writing this letter.)

One of the most incredible stories of the Bible is the account of a young Mary and her visit with the angel Gabriel who tells her she is about to become the mother of the Savior of the world. Take a look at the details in Luke 1:26-37.

Mary’s initial response to the angel was to question how she could bear a child as a virgin. In verse 37, Gabriel says, “Nothing is impossible with God.” The word “nothing” in Greek is two words: “no rhema.”

“Rhema” is the Greek word for “word,” and it means “revealed word.” You may have experienced the rhema Word of God while listening to a sermon: It seemed like the words leapt from the speaker’s mouth and landed right in your heart. You may have also experienced rhema while reading your Bible: The words jumped off the page and spoke directly to the battle you were facing. That’s the Word at work! When it becomes revelation to you, no word God speaks will be void of the power for its fulfillment.”

After the Word became revelation to Mary, she believed. She had settled in her heart ahead of time that anything God would speak to her would be true. So when the rhema Word came from Gabriel, she was prepared to obey. Have you settled in your heart that once you hear God speak, you will obey?

RHEMA! As I finished writing this letter and reading this passage, I felt it deep within me: the Wednesday night dinners weren’t just a sweet memory, they were the seed. The beginning of my ministry.

A space where women can come together to rest, reconnect, and remember that even in their waiting or uncertainty, God is still moving. A sacred Wednesday night of connection, prayer, healing, and restoration. A place where hearts can be renewed, stories redeemed, and lives transformed for generations to come.

This is more than a dream. It’s the beginning of something real, tangible, and holy.

It’s amazing how God can use this letter to you to answer my question: How do you want to use me?

He wants me to create a Wednesday night dinner for women to come together to learn how to find God’s goodness — even in this — their story, the mess, the heartache, the brokenness…

Have you settled in your heart that once you hear God speak, you will obey?

Mimi, I’m ready to say yes! Here goes nothing…

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I recently caught myself whispering, “I beg to differ,” during a mom’s group discussion where they encouraged us not to compare our homeschool journeys to what we see online. As a creator, I know the reality behind what my camera captures.

What if our highlight reel could actually be the frames of our story? Our life?

Our true highlight reel only becomes reality when we give every piece of our lives over to Jesus, trusting Him to turn brokenness into beauty and everyday moments into glimpses of His glory.

That kind of surrender changes how you see everything, even the smallest details of your everyday life.

I know firsthand when you begin to romanticize your life, your life becomes romantic. At the end of the day, what matters most is the lens you choose to look through, day after day. Lately, I’ve been choosing a lens of forgiveness, gratitude, and trust in God’s plan.

But romanticizing life doesn’t mean ignoring the mess or pretending everything is perfect.

Now, don’t get me wrong, our home isn’t perfect. In fact, there are five imperfect individuals living together, learning together, and most of all, healing together. There have been seasons when I wouldn’t dare record what was happening before my eyes. But I’m not afraid to tell you of them because I’ve learned that even in the darkness, God is at work. Those dark moments have now turned into guiding lights towards healing for others, and while they’re not on camera, they’re etched into my soul, every single detail, ready to share the testimony of God’s goodness — even in the heartache.

I wonder, are you viewing your life through a zoomed-in lens, focused only on today’s reality — the mundane chores, the grief, and the trials? Or are you pulling back, a .5 view, if you will, noticing all that surrounds you, all that’s to come, and all that He’s already done? Are you zoomed in on today’s mess, or zoomed out to see His masterpiece?

That perspective shift reminds me of something Stephen Macchia writes in The Discerning Life, “Recognizing that one’s viewpoint can be crowded out, rather than seen more fully from above—like noticing the difference between the trees in front of you and the forest that surrounds you.”

I’ve been there before, wondering where God was in the details. It wasn’t until I asked Him to reveal Himself that I realized He had been waiting for me to ask all along.

In 2014, I went into premature labor with our twins, Grady and Ryder. Ryder was already in the presence of Jesus, and I held onto hope that Grady would, by some miracle, survive.

In the years following our loss, I remembered that day and the delivery as dark and lonely. I had spent an entire month of their pregnancy on bed rest in the hospital, physically alone—and now I was alone again, bringing them into this world.

During an altar call many years later, God revealed a bird’s-eye view of all the pieces I couldn’t see while lying in the operating room. There He was—with the nurses, with Grady as he took his last breath, with Nicholas in the hallway, and with the doctors working tirelessly to save my life and stop my bleeding. He was above it all, orchestrating the details so I didn’t have to. And there He was—with me, holding my aching heart as I grieved my two baby boys, and saving my life for my two children at home.

That revelation forever changed how I view both my pain and my story.

What I show online is real, and the blessing I receive when I share our daily life is knowing what each of us had to go through to get to where we are today—what brokenness had to happen so that I could truly understand the depth of restoration and healing. The people in those frames endured a wealth of heartache, and now they get to bask in God’s abundant love and healing.

It’s hard to miss the details around you, when you intentionally pause and take notice. It’s true — what we focus on grows. It consumes us and becomes ours to manage. I don’t know about you, but whatever I’m spending my time managing, my most valuable asset, I want it to be beautiful and worthwhile.

The brokenness of our story is what makes us beautiful. Just like a mixed-media art piece, which doesn’t make sense until all the pieces come together, each broken piece of ourselves comes together to form the masterpiece God intended all along—healed and full of hope.

Our very own highlight reel.

What do you want the highlight reel of your life to look like?

We must view our life through the lens of our end-goal. At the end of the day, and our lives, God gets the person we become. So, who are you becoming?

Today, I can’t help but be thankful for everyone’s highlight reels flooding my feed. I know the people within those frames have encountered trials as I have, and the beauty in their highlight reel tells of God’s promise of abundant love that will always welcome us home.

Because every highlight reel, when surrendered to Him, becomes a testimony of His glory.

Every summer, we travel to Georgia to a quiet little Airbnb that has become our home away from home. The creak of wood planks beneath bare feet, the warmth of the fire, and the cool evening breeze nudged me to start taking notes. What was it about this place that felt so inviting?

I noticed the homeowner had placed three lamps in every room - the magic number. No less, no more. I wrote it down, and soon I began noticing lamps everywhere I traveled. Now, table lamps have transformed our own home. I find myself longing for their soft glow as I open my eyes and ease into the day.

Home feels comfortable now. Ten years ago, even five years ago, it felt chaotic; unfinished, messy, and a reflection of my own heart: hurting.

Through the long work of undoing, redoing, and decluttering, both our spaces and our trauma, we’ve arrived at a place where we simply can’t get enough of home.

I’ve experienced these “pinch me moments” as I spend more time within our four walls. I can still remember being on my knees literally begging God to be exactly where I’m at today — unrushed days with my children, soaking them in. Time to indulge in homemade heirloom recipes that not only satisfy our appetites but also nourish our minds. Space to let creativity flow and to heal the broken places in me.

Breakfast is one of those moments. One by one, the kids come down the stairs with sleepy eyes and empty stomaches. “Hi, Mom,” they say — and I melt.

Together, we get to share a whole and healthy meal as we ease into our day. Worship music hums in the background, watercolors wait by the window, and the sweet scent of maple syrup fills the air. Pinch me.

Heirloom French Toast Casserole

INGREDIENTS

I have included affiliate links to clean, whole ingredient swaps that we have made in our home. I believe healing happens from the inside out. What we feed our bodies fuels everything else around us. These are tried and true ingredients that are wholesome, free of seed oils, and are good for you and your family!

• A Loaf of Bread (I used my homemade bread recipe that is COMING SOON to Subscribers!)

• 6 Eggs

• 2 cups of Milk

• 1/2 cup of Sugar

• 1/4 teaspoon of Salt

• 1 teaspoon of Cinnamon

• 1 tablespoon of Vanilla Extract

• 1/2 cup of Melted Unsalted Butter

• Powdered Sugar

• Maple Syrup

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Slice bread into 1” cubes and place into a 13” x 9” glass baking dish.

3. Melt butter over medium-low heat on the stove.

4. Whisk together milk, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, and salt.

5. Pour the mixture over the bread.

6. Using a spoon, press gently down on the bread so that it is fully covered.

7. Once the butter is melted, pour it over the bread.

8. Heat maple syrup in the same pan.

9. Bake for 40 minutes until golden-brown.

10. Top with powdered sugar and warmed, maple syrup.

“…there are days when I cannot breathe, and then there are days that are just so joyful, I can see God’s miracles — even in this.”

But He knew. God knew that I would need those three little words, even in this, to hold onto during future heartbreak, or look back on all that I’ve endured in 37 years.

The truth: Yes, God is good — even in this.

Heartbreak Strikes Again

Fast forward to January 2024, when heartbreak struck again. Only this time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be the same.

I’m not.

It’s as though a lightbulb went off, illuminating all that I had endured, and since that moment, I haven’t been able to turn it off.

Instead, I feel called to walk with it, allowing it to light the path towards healing. Although, this isn’t a journey I want to take alone. I’ve done that for 37 years — hiding, isolating, seeking safety in solitude. But when you hit your breaking point, being alone no longer feels safe. It feels exactly what it is — lonely. How can we heal alone when God has called us to be with one another, especially in the darkness, so that the light, His goodness, can help us break free from the pain and live fully in who He has created us to be?

The Lamp

“Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.” — Matthew 5:15

I wrote this Bible verse in my journal during a silent retreat, knowing God was highlighting it for me, only at the time, I wasn’t sure why. I knew He longed for me to share my story with others like I had after losing the boys, only this time felt different. Instead of focusing and being stuck in the “this happened to me” part of my story, He was calling me to shine His goodness despite the intrusive thoughts, grief, anxiety, ADHD, betrayal, abuse, and generational trauma.

Welcome to Your Safe Space

So, here we are — this space was created with you in mind. I imagine you are longing to break free of what broke you. I’m sorry for what you have gone through. Welcome to your safe place on the internet. Where it’s not just content, it’s a companion. Together, we’re healing through faith and the quiet work of home, taking a lamp and allowing it to light the path for another.

To remember: you are not alone, and you don’t have to stay where you’ve been.

Learn more about what Even in This is, and I hope you’ll stay awhile. This is only the beginning.

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